I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
We're too hungover to prance.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
