Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
