If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
