the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
