drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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