Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Randomize
