Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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