id be glad to
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
