question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
