I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
