I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I want her autograph on my taint
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
