A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
