Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
