i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
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