why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize