Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
