You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
