I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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