This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
