you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Randomize
