No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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