just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
only if we run a train.
done.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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