she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
