tell your sister to shave her snatch
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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