I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize