I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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