The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
