nut hugger
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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