my mouth tastes like poor choices
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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