Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
