oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
