this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
