The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize