May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
