Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
