I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
