He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
