I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
God, I missed his penis.
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