I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
