WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
