woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Randomize
