Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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