It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
