Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
