her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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