how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You were trust falling into bushes
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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