so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
