so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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