you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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