i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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