Plan B is the new Plan A
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
