I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
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