I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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