I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
My liver just broke up with me...
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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