what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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