um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
