butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
