I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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