just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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