I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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