OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
oh god the rape fog is back!
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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