Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
love makes seman taste better
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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