I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize