Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
