u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
