If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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